"Good For You!"
The social consensus seems to agree that social media is bad for us. But... is it?
Dear Creators,
Have you noticed that when someone takes a break from social media, it is usually met with “Good for you!” or “I wish I could do that”? That it’s generally regarded as a positive thing, a feat of strength or willpower or selflessness? A reclaiming of one’s free time, a freedom or respite from the obligatory overwhelm each new day brings?
I’ve noticed, because I said it the other day. My friend Michelle has been on a social media hiatus for several months now, and seems to be much better off for it. “That’s amazing,” I told her. “I wish I could do that.”
And then I realized — I had done that. Just… not intentionally.
Those of you who follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Discord, Tumblr, etc., may have noticed that I haven’t been super active (or active at all) lately. I do try to respond to tags and mentions, but largely I’ve been closing out of the app after popping in to check my notifications, avoiding the stream/newsfeed altogether.
Again, I haven’t done this intentionally. I seem to have just… drifted away.
Perhaps it’s an avoidance of overwhelm, of seeing and then having to deal with not only my own notifications but everyone else’s hopes, dreams, anxieties, problems, and frustrations. It’s a lot to carry, and something I don’t do especially well.
But while I’ve noticed a little less overwhelm (and a lot more free time), I’ve noticed that I’m missing out on something, too. Something important.
I didn’t realize until I stopped using it that most of my friendships and relationships are based online, largely on social media.
And when I stopped using social media, I stopped interacting with most of the people I know. I have only recently realized that I have been missing a sense of belonging. Of connection. Of community.
I have the feeling that if I told someone over coffee that I was no longer using social media, it would be received in a positive light. “Good for you!” they might even say.
But… is it?
Words & warmth,
Sarah
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The answer, were I the person sitting across from you, would be yes and no. I think the people who work in social media companies see themselves as crusaders, on a quest to Do Good Everywhere. The problem is, they're ill-suited for the task. For one, they're human and humans are notably bad at making the world good. Second, they don't know nearly as much as they imagine they do. That is, eventually, they see we users as "units" or whatever word their Zoom meeting slideshows says. We aren't people but objects or, worse, assets. Those folks want to believe they'd act different, but they won't and never have. This is how it is.
On the other hand, you're bang-on about distant friendships. When I left Facebook, I also left relationships I liked and wanted to keep. I've managed to keep in touch with a couple folks from there, but only a couple, and I miss some of those I left behind. Still, leaving FB was a good move for my own health.
So...yes and no?