That Guilt Tho

On creative flow, creative guilt, and why we give into distractions.

Dear Creators,

Every time I sit down to write, something happens.

And that something isn’t generally “I IMMEDIATELY GET INTO A CREATIVE FLOW AND WRITE SOMETHING AMAZING, HOORAY.”

It’s more like… I see something in the kitchen or living room that needs tidying up, or Cyrus (my new kitten) decides that it’s time to play and/or destroy something, or I remember something important that I feel compelled to address immediately.

And often, I give in to those distractions.

Because to be honest, it’s easy to give in to those distractions. What’s calling me away from writing is usually a manageably sized task with a finite beginning and end (unlike, say, this massive 100k-word thing I’m writing), and finishing this manageably sized task will give me a much-needed dopamine boost. It’s a task that needs to get done anyway, so why not take care of it now? And the longer I ignore the task, the guiltier I will feel — I know that just getting it over with will alleviate the guilt.

But… where’s the guilt for us?

Eventually, if I don’t write for a long period of time (like, say, several months or a year), I’ll start to feel a gnawing edge of guilt about neglecting my writing. But if I skip out on one writing session (even if I skipped out on yesterday’s, too), it doesn’t feel like that big of a deal.

I don’t feel that guilt immediately like I do when I look down into Cyrus’ big kitten eyes that are begging me to come play with him.

And it doesn’t feel as heavy as it does when I think about my cluttered little hobbit house and how it could/should look more like the ones in fashionable magazines or on Insta.

And it doesn’t provide the pressure that a ringing phone or upset text/email can inject into your life.

We all experience guilt for different reasons. Maybe you’re a people-pleaser like me, and you are terrified of letting someone else down. Maybe you were taught to be one thing (e.g., a tidy person with a sparkling-clean house) and you’re acting like another thing (e.g., a messy slob with a sink full of crusty dishes). Maybe you killed a guy (I don’t know your life).

My point is, there are a lot of reasons to feel guilty. And… despite what it might sound like, I’m not here to give you yet one more.

I’m just curious — why do we feel more guilty about things that ultimately matter less?

Words & warmth,
Sarah

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Girl In Space Update

I’m currently up to 71,447 words in the Girl In Space Season 1 novel adaptation that I mentioned a couple weeks ago. It’s going well, and I’m super excited to be able to flesh out each character and scene more fully, and tell more of X’s story. I’m really looking forward to finishing it so that I can share it with you. :)

The plan is to finish the novelization by December 22, when I head to my hometown to spend Christmas with my family (for the first time in something like 16 years).

And then, when I get back to SD in that first week of January, I’ll resume writing Season 2 of the Girl In Space audio drama.

Since I write by hand, my next step will be to type the whole thing into Final Draft (since I don’t want to force my poor actors to read my handwriting), which will allow me to write a second draft of the script so I can fix mistakes, clean up inconsistencies, etc.

Then I’ll write the Season 2 finale, having gone back to the very beginning (which is how I ended up writing a novel adaptation of Season 1 in the first place) to make sure everything gets wrapped up in a (hopefully!) satisfying way.

It will be a huge relief to move from the writing to editing and then recording phase. I’m also going to be working with a sound designer and editor for Season 2 because let’s face it — sound design is not my forte.

Anyway, thank you for your continued interest, patience, and support in this creative project. It’s been the experience of a lifetime and I can’t wait to make more cool stuff for you.

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What I’m Reading

I just finished Tana French’s incredible mystery The Secret Place (the 5th in her Dublin Murder Squad series) and immediately added it to my Favorites section on Goodreads.

I think we all have that handful of writers whom we venerate above all others, whom we “want to be like when we grow up” — and Tana French is one of mine. Complex characters with satisfying arcs, well-plotted mysteries, and an effervescent beauty in the simple descriptions of how people think and feel and act.

A definite recommend — though if you don’t want to start with the 5th book in a series (something I cannot do), then I’d suggest the first installment (In The Woods) or the stand-alone novel The Searcher.

I wasn’t sure what to pick up after this glorious experience, so I went with a classic — The Man In The Brown Suit by Agatha Christie. I hadn’t read this one before, and I’m absolutely delighted to be able to enjoy it for the first time now. Narrator Anne Beddingfeld is my new favorite Christie character — or maybe she’s just a little bit more like me than I’d like to admit.

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