13 Comments
User's avatar
Jimmie Bise Jr's avatar

Oh, this is excellent, Sarah, and I'll end up reading it a couple more times this week, at least. I need it just that much. Thank you for writing it.

Expand full comment
Sarah Rhea Werner's avatar

Thank YOU for reading it!

Expand full comment
Ada Oberman's avatar

I remember when I was a few years newly diagnosed with Crohn's & the pills stopped working. Which meant regular injections with a needle! I was terrified of needles. So I hid that I wasn't doing good until I couldn't anymore. My doctor said I was so brave and strong for going through what I did.

I didn't feel brave. I felt terrible and like I was slowly dying and that I was trading my possible health with the five bajillion *severe* side effects I could get. Truth is, I was brave to admit my suffering. But I don't think I was brave to endure what I didn't have to had I spoke up. Bravery is a weird thing. I think, like you said, we want to console people with it. But it isn't always the case. And being brave is definitely not glamorous. But it's necessary.

Expand full comment
Sarah Rhea Werner's avatar

I appreciate this perspective so much, Ada. Thank you for sharing your story!

Expand full comment
Andrew James's avatar

Saving this email, you’ve hit the nail on the head, or exhaust port with a proton torpedo.

It reminds me of the Dune litany against fear "I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Expand full comment
Sarah Rhea Werner's avatar

Oh gosh I love this. 🙌 Thank you, Andrew.

Expand full comment
Patti Rae's avatar

This was a great post, Sarah, and as many have already mentioned, obviously this is an area many people can relate to. Facing fear and having to be brave actually does kind of suck. As a self-published author in my sixties, having to learn a whole new industry in a social media dominated world has required me to be brave and face a whole bunch of fear. But as the saying goes, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zones", and through I'm a long way past the beginning of my life, I'm not done pushing past comfort zones. Life is about going through the fire and coming out whole on the other side, and hopefully, have been made better for surviving.

Expand full comment
Sarah Rhea Werner's avatar

Patti, I absolutely love this. Thank you for sharing!

Expand full comment
Shannon Gile's avatar

Thank you for putting this out into the world. I am in the midst of a very big leap leaving a job that I loved but is no longer serving me, and possibly moving out of my apartment because it’s being sold, and suddenly needing a new car… Everything feels scary right now so this really resonates with me.

Expand full comment
Sarah Rhea Werner's avatar

That is a LOT to be going through all at once, Shannon. Sending your warmth and courage.

Expand full comment
Lisa Morris Jos's avatar

Sarah, You have touched upon what most of us have likely felt at various points in our lives...it's like having to put on your brave face when you know you don't have an ounce of courage to spare. Your words touched my heart! Being brave does suck....

It is kind of silly, but here is how I have tried to be brave and teach bravery to my girls. When my girls were little they loved watching Peter Pan. We watched it over and over and over again...They loved the movie, and so did I (still do) ... When I took my eldest daughter to her first day of kindergarten she began to hysterically cry. I tried to muster up some mom support because quite frankly, I wanted to cry, too......Knowing her comfort of watching Peter Pan, I told her she is "My Brave Peter Pan" for going to Kindergarten -- and just like Peter Pan who faced Captain Hook and lead the Lost Boys to safety she was ready to face kindergarten and all the fun it had in store for her...This method seemed to work and I used it again when my second daughter headed to her first day of school in tears...Sometimes it's okay to borrow some bravery when we need it, even if it is from an animated character LOL...I revisited "My Brave Peter Pan" phrase when they faced scary moments throughout their childhood. In fact, I use this phrase today, even though they are college graduates! :)

So, Sarah, I wish you and your friend "Brave Peter Pan" moments as you travel through life and its hurdles :)

Expand full comment
Sarah Rhea Werner's avatar

Oh, I LOVE the phrase "borrowing bravery"! I'm so glad you did that for your girls. And it's not silly at all. :)

Expand full comment
Lisa Morris Jos's avatar

:) !!!

Expand full comment