Greetings From Isolation
Dear Creators,
I returned from speaking at the Austin Film Festival two Mondays ago, and then promptly went into hiding.
I don’t necessarily think I did it on purpose, thinking to myself, “Ha ha! Now no one will be able to find me!” At least, not this time.
Rather, since I’m an introvert who has learned to act like an extrovert (don’t tell anyone), I returned from the five-day conference completely exhausted and overwhelmed, with a sinus infection to boot.
And upon returning home, I faceplanted into bed and slept.
I got back to writing the next day (it was Day 1 of NaNoWriMo, after all, and Girl In Space isn’t going to write itself!), but I didn’t really return to the world. I had purposefully left my calendar free of meetings for the entire week post-conference, but I found I was also neglecting my email and putting off editing the newest Write Now Podcast episode (which is finally up as of this morning).
To be honest, I still feel like I haven’t really returned to the world. I’m not sure I’m ready to. And I don’t know what to do with that.
Confession time: I was one of the few people who were kind of okay with the Covid-19 lockdown. Disconnecting myself from other people allowed me to slow down, breathe, and focus on my writing without any guilt, interruption, or obligation.
It’s just that… during that time, I lost touch with… you know, the rest of humanity.
And that can’t be a good thing, especially for someone creative.
But I texted friends and family less; I developed my own weird little schedule; I stopped calling my mom every week; I wore sweatpants and hoodies nonstop; I went a couple extra days between showers; I went to bed at 9pm.
And I’m still not really back on top of my email. (Though hey, I am getting my writing done every day.)
I reverted to this state upon returning from Austin. And I’m (embarrassingly? guiltily?) still here two weeks later.
My friend Charlie texted me yesterday and asked if I had talked to anyone about having slipped back into self-isolation, and I said no, but I would. So I’m talking to you. (Hi.)
I think my question right now is, What are we really reaching for, when we reach for isolation? Is it peace? Quiet? Healing? A break from the never-ending hustle? Time to catch up on all the texts / notifications / updates / emails / tasks / projects / books / articles / chores / etc. — a.k.a. all the things?
Or is it something more insidious, like an escape from accountability and/or responsibility? Privacy as we sink into depression? A full retreat from humanity?
Maybe it’s just me, but knowing what is best for ourselves is really hard, and often the methods we choose to self-medicate aren’t necessarily good for us.
While I’m back in the habit of writing every day, I’m out of the habit of connecting with friends, family, and members of my community. Even though I’m an introvert, I love people, and I know that when I am in touch with friends and family members, I feel more connected and fulfilled.
Anyway, I’m back this week, writing you this letter, showered and wearing an actual sweater and jeans, trying to remember how to belong to the world instead of just writing about it.
Words & warmth,
Sarah
Girl In Space Update
Things are going… well??? **knocks furiously on wood**
As I alluded to above, I’ve been adding hundreds of words to Season 2 of Girl In Space every day, seven days a week (except when I’m out of town speaking at conferences).
Though the sad thing is I don’t think I’ll be meeting my goal of having the season out in 2022. I may (and hope to) finish writing my first and second drafts by then, but it’s going to take a while to wrangle actors, do table reads, record lines, and then (the second-most time-consuming task of all, after writing) edit/sound design it all.
The good news is that it’s going to be a nice long season (just about 90,000 words) and honestly, I think it’s going to be really good. X and her friends are going to face new challenges, encounter new mysteries, and grow together — and apart — in new ways.
The whole season should also feel more cohesive, since I’m writing all of the episodes at once, like a novel, instead of writing an episode, releasing it, writing the next episode, etc. This is another reason it’s taking so long, but I think it’s going to add so much depth and development to the story overall.
I can’t wait to share this journey with you — I only wish it could be sooner!
xo
Meanwhile… What’s that? You’ve never listened to Girl In Space? Now’s a great time to start. :)
Listen on Apple Podcasts:
Listen on Spotify:
New Write Now Podcast Episode: Why Do I Write By Hand? (Episode 150)
Every once in a while, someone will ask me how my writing is going, and in response, I will haul out not one but two giant three-inch-spine binders, each stuffed with thousands of sheets of looseleaf notebook paper, and each sheet of paper crammed with hundreds of handwritten words.
At that point, the person's face will take on either an expression of awe or horror — sometimes both. And after this happened to me multiple times, I figured I would record a Write Now podcast episode about it — how I started writing my works by hand, why I switched from typing to handwriting, and what sort of benefits I've seen from it.
Don't worry — the purpose of this episode is not to convince you that you "should" write your next poem or novel by hand. Rather, I hope that it encourages you to think about your own creative process and why what works for you works for you.
Listen on Apple Podcasts:
Listen on Spotify:
Or stream on sarahwerner.com »
What I’m Reading
I’m currently in the midst of the fifth installment of Tana French’s “Dublin Murder Squad” series, The Secret Place. It’s beautifully written as always, with threads of poignancy that surprise and delight, though while I’m really enjoying it, so far my favorite book in the series has been the second, The Likeness.
Never read a Tana French book before? I recommend starting with The Searcher, which is a stand-alone literary mystery featuring a retired American detective who has moved to rural Ireland to, ironically, find peace and quiet. Poor guy. Beautiful book, though.
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Cheers, and thank you!
P.S. I’m trying out Substack for this week’s email instead of my usual email service, Active Campaign. If you notice a difference, what do you think? Is this better? Worse? You can let me know by hitting “reply” to this email, or by leaving a comment! I think!
Thanks again for reading. :)
Update: My friend Kate W. texted me after reading this email, and I wanted to share what she said here with you:
"What if we're not reaching for isolation, but rather allowing ourselves to attain it, as a form of self-care?
What if it's not a shameful, guilt-ridden, embarrassing impulse, but instead a natural state that we sometimes gift ourselves when the grind -- whether that means regular work or regular contact or whatever -- is just too much?
What if rest and sweatpants is just as valid a need as human interaction and sometimes the pendulum just swings farther than we expected?"
Thank you for this perspective, Kate. I appreciate it (and you) so much. <3
I feel seen. I totally love to self-isolate. But then, it sorta reaches a place where it's not longer healing, but hurtful... because, yeah, I love being around people.
I just wish they weren't so exhausting.