Update: My friend Kate W. texted me after reading this email, and I wanted to share what she said here with you:
"What if we're not reaching for isolation, but rather allowing ourselves to attain it, as a form of self-care?
What if it's not a shameful, guilt-ridden, embarrassing impulse, but instead a natural state that we sometimes gift ourselves when the grind -- whether that means regular work or regular contact or whatever -- is just too much?
What if rest and sweatpants is just as valid a need as human interaction and sometimes the pendulum just swings farther than we expected?"
Thank you for this perspective, Kate. I appreciate it (and you) so much. <3
I feel seen. I totally love to self-isolate. But then, it sorta reaches a place where it's not longer healing, but hurtful... because, yeah, I love being around people.
Such familiar territory. Thanks for sharing. I live in a senior retirement center and love hearing voices and laughter ... almost as much as I love shutting my door and not talking to anyone all day long. Writing is seductive world tempting me with the glitter of connection without the battery draining aerobics of skating on the thin surface of everyday conversation.
Wonderful to hear from you. Like getting a letter from an old friend.
Isolation? It's not just for breakfast anymore. I find myself becoming increasingly reclusive the past couple of years. I don't think it is entirely due to pandemic fears. Rather, I find that, if I spend my time doing the things that are truly most valuable to me, I don't have a lot of time left over for online media fluff and meaningless social pretense. My writing is still my greatest creative joy and the couple of hours in the early morning when I can stay offline and alone - just me and my keyboard - are the best part of my day. Besides, I can wear my overalls and no one knows! Long live Isolation... as long as it is a choice and not a retreat.
RANDY HELLO! And that response really resonates with me. I wonder if sometimes I'm uncomfortable with how much of my life is (or has the potential to be) meaningless social pretense. 😬
I always do this after a speaking gig. It’s the peopling on overdrive that does it, and then it’s just so easy to stay there. People are lovely in measured doses.
Just the idea of speaking at a conference and knowing people would want to TALK TO ME afterwards is enough to make me run for my room. But as Shannon Perry put it in Oz-9, my happily ever after would have "lots of quiet places to be alone with your thoughts. But plenty of friends to come find you when you've been alone too long."
Thank you so much for your honesty. It is needed. Thank you. I was thinking just today how good the covid lockdown times felt to me. But then I thought it was so selfish and broken to need a pandemic world crisis involving millions of dramatic situations to feel at ease. That I had to find a way to feel as good as I felt when everything slowed or shut down but in the regular world. So your words hit hard. I discovered your universe while trying to overcome writer's block and it's helping me tons. Thank you.
Ah, yes, kind of okay indeed! I feel guilty for being kind of okay, but during those long months, I was able to do so many things I couldn't do now. I bonded with my kids, came up with a new book idea, went camping, and enjoyed the time when my kids thought going to the grocery store was actually fun. Someone needs to write a book on How to be an Introvert Post Pandemic. Thank you Sarah, as always, for your insightful post.
Hello, Sarah! For the 25+ years I was writing things at work, I often wrote new passages by hand first, to let me slow down & consider each word & how it properly fit into the structure I was crafting or refining.
FWIW, something I learned early on is the superiority of fountain pens for this; requiring no pressure allows for far less hand fatigue in long sessions. YMMV.
You can find a good starter pen at office supply stores for ~$10.00 or so - they use cartriges, so refills are no muss, no fuss. In the starter range, I'd say Parker and especially the Lamy Safari ($20 at amazon) would do you right well. Enjoy!
Update: My friend Kate W. texted me after reading this email, and I wanted to share what she said here with you:
"What if we're not reaching for isolation, but rather allowing ourselves to attain it, as a form of self-care?
What if it's not a shameful, guilt-ridden, embarrassing impulse, but instead a natural state that we sometimes gift ourselves when the grind -- whether that means regular work or regular contact or whatever -- is just too much?
What if rest and sweatpants is just as valid a need as human interaction and sometimes the pendulum just swings farther than we expected?"
Thank you for this perspective, Kate. I appreciate it (and you) so much. <3
I feel seen. I totally love to self-isolate. But then, it sorta reaches a place where it's not longer healing, but hurtful... because, yeah, I love being around people.
I just wish they weren't so exhausting.
Whew, I get this.
I love this.
I love this.
I love this.
I love this.
I love this.
Did I mention that I love this?
Well, I do. Love. This.
Holy crapweasel.
THANK YOU JIMMIE!!!
Such familiar territory. Thanks for sharing. I live in a senior retirement center and love hearing voices and laughter ... almost as much as I love shutting my door and not talking to anyone all day long. Writing is seductive world tempting me with the glitter of connection without the battery draining aerobics of skating on the thin surface of everyday conversation.
I love what your friend Kate texted you, I think there is a lot of truth to that.
This also was good: “knowing what is best for ourselves is really hard,”- yes indeed hard but also so good and needed.
Good job on writing everyday.
Thank you! And thank you for reading. :)
Wonderful to hear from you. Like getting a letter from an old friend.
Isolation? It's not just for breakfast anymore. I find myself becoming increasingly reclusive the past couple of years. I don't think it is entirely due to pandemic fears. Rather, I find that, if I spend my time doing the things that are truly most valuable to me, I don't have a lot of time left over for online media fluff and meaningless social pretense. My writing is still my greatest creative joy and the couple of hours in the early morning when I can stay offline and alone - just me and my keyboard - are the best part of my day. Besides, I can wear my overalls and no one knows! Long live Isolation... as long as it is a choice and not a retreat.
RANDY HELLO! And that response really resonates with me. I wonder if sometimes I'm uncomfortable with how much of my life is (or has the potential to be) meaningless social pretense. 😬
I always do this after a speaking gig. It’s the peopling on overdrive that does it, and then it’s just so easy to stay there. People are lovely in measured doses.
This. Yes. Peopling and performing really just knocks me out.
Just the idea of speaking at a conference and knowing people would want to TALK TO ME afterwards is enough to make me run for my room. But as Shannon Perry put it in Oz-9, my happily ever after would have "lots of quiet places to be alone with your thoughts. But plenty of friends to come find you when you've been alone too long."
Ohhhh I love this!
Hmmm i so feel this while reading in bed.
Feeling this. All of it. You’re not alone <3
Thank you so much for your honesty. It is needed. Thank you. I was thinking just today how good the covid lockdown times felt to me. But then I thought it was so selfish and broken to need a pandemic world crisis involving millions of dramatic situations to feel at ease. That I had to find a way to feel as good as I felt when everything slowed or shut down but in the regular world. So your words hit hard. I discovered your universe while trying to overcome writer's block and it's helping me tons. Thank you.
Ah, yes, kind of okay indeed! I feel guilty for being kind of okay, but during those long months, I was able to do so many things I couldn't do now. I bonded with my kids, came up with a new book idea, went camping, and enjoyed the time when my kids thought going to the grocery store was actually fun. Someone needs to write a book on How to be an Introvert Post Pandemic. Thank you Sarah, as always, for your insightful post.
Thank you, Cate. :)
Hello, Sarah! For the 25+ years I was writing things at work, I often wrote new passages by hand first, to let me slow down & consider each word & how it properly fit into the structure I was crafting or refining.
FWIW, something I learned early on is the superiority of fountain pens for this; requiring no pressure allows for far less hand fatigue in long sessions. YMMV.
Thank you for your work, and art!
Oooh. I have always been intrigued by fountain pens but have never tried one...
You can find a good starter pen at office supply stores for ~$10.00 or so - they use cartriges, so refills are no muss, no fuss. In the starter range, I'd say Parker and especially the Lamy Safari ($20 at amazon) would do you right well. Enjoy!